Ordinary Actions: Extraordinary Leadership - Matthew Ayers ’99

“The people you're trying to lead may become your greatest teacher.”

SUMMARY

Matthew Ayers ’99 believes leadership isn't about having all the answers. It’s about listening, learning and serving with joy.

Hear how experiences at the U.S. Air Force Academy, on a U.N. peacekeeping mission and leading Dream Centers of Colorado Springs transformed his understanding of leadership.

MATTHEW'S TOP 10 LEADERSHIP LESSONS

1. Leadership Begins with Ordinary Acts

Matthew's grandfather didn't set out to do extraordinary things—he simply noticed people, asked questions, and invited them in. Great leadership often begins with small acts of compassion that have lifelong impact.

2. Lead with Joy

One of the defining characteristics of Matthew's grandfather was his joy. Even in difficult circumstances, he demonstrated that joy isn't the absence of hardship—it's a choice that gives others hope and the courage to move forward.

3. Stay Curious About People

Matthew learned that leadership starts by genuinely wanting to know people and understand their stories. Curiosity builds trust, broadens perspective, and opens the door to meaningful relationships.

4. Integrity Is Lived, Not Signed

His experience during a United Nations peacekeeping mission revealed that values aren't proven by an oath—they're revealed in everyday decisions. Leadership requires the courage to live your principles, even when circumstances become complicated.

5. Influence Doesn't Require Authority

Serving alongside people outside his chain of command taught Matthew that leadership often happens through relationships rather than rank. Quiet, consistent influence can move an organization—and a mission—forward one conversation at a time.

6. Presence Is Sometimes the Greatest Gift

Whether comforting cadets during tragedy or supporting people in crisis, Matthew discovered that leaders don't always need the perfect words. Simply showing up and being present can have a lasting impact.

7. Listen Before You Lead

Matthew's work reinforced that the people closest to the problem often hold the clearest vision for the solution. Leaders who listen deeply make better decisions because they're willing to learn before they act.

8. Let Others Become Your Teachers

One of the most powerful themes of the episode is that leadership is not about always being the teacher. Matthew believes the people we serve—and the people we lead—often become our greatest teachers if we're humble enough to learn from them.

9. Transformation Happens Through Action

Leadership isn't mastered in a classroom alone. Matthew reminds us that principles become convictions only when we wrestle with them in real life, applying them through service, relationships, and everyday decisions.

10. Leave People Better Than You Found Them

Looking back on his grandfather's influence, Matthew's own leadership philosophy comes into focus: serve others with humility, model joy, remain teachable, and help people flourish. The greatest legacy a leader leaves is the positive impact they have on the lives of others.

CHAPTERS

00:00:00 – Opening: Sometimes the Greatest Teachers Aren't the Ones We Expect

00:00:53 – Meet Matthew Ayers, USAFA Class of 1999

00:01:38 – The Story That Changed Everything: Grandpa, Joy & Two Strangers

00:08:47 – Justice Begins at Home: Lessons Passed from One Generation to the Next

00:15:12 – Ethiopia: When Integrity Is Tested in the Real World

00:24:31 – The Difference Between Signing an Oath and Living It

00:31:26 – The Child Who Became the Teacher

00:39:08 – Why Great Leaders Never Stop Being Students

00:45:51 – Leading Through Joy, Compassion & Presence

00:52:37 – Leadership in Practice: Listening Before Leading

00:58:44 – Matthew's Leadership Philosophy

01:03:28 – Advice to His Younger Self

01:06:14 – Final Reflections: Leave People Better Than You Found Them

 

ABOUT MATTHEW

BIO

Matthew Ayers, USAFA Class of 1999, is the founder and CEO of Dream Centers, a Colorado Springs nonprofit dedicated to serving women, children, and families through comprehensive healthcare, behavioral health services, and transformational housing. Before founding Dream Centers in 2011, Matthew served as an Air Force officer, managed air and space programs, taught at the U.S. Air Force Academy, and deployed as an unarmed military observer with the United Nations Mission in Ethiopia and Eritrea.

A passionate student of leadership, theology, and community development, Matthew believes the most meaningful leadership begins with humility, service, and a willingness to learn from others. Through his work and volunteer service, he continues to champion innovative approaches that strengthen families, empower communities, and create lasting change. Matthew lives in Colorado Springs with his wife, Amber, and their two children, Zeke and Halle Joy.

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FULL TRANSCRIPT

Guest: Lt. Col. (Ret.) Matthew Ayers ’99  |  Host: Lt. Col. (Ret.) Naviere Walkewicz ’99

Lt. Col. (Ret.) Naviere Walkewicz 0:00
Sometimes the greatest leadership lesson isn't learning how to teach others; it's discovering that the people you're trying to lead may become your greatest teacher. I'm Naviere Walkewicz, Class of '99 — Long Blue Leadership starts now. Well, welcome. Our guest today is Matthew Ayers, class of ’99. Yes, my classmate. Welcome, welcome to Long Blue Leadership. Let me tell you about Matthew from his military service, where he served in international peacekeeping. Then he went into the classrooms of Fairchild Hall, onto leading an organization called Dream Centers, where he's the CEO, really focusing on a vulnerable set of our community. It's such a pleasure to have you here today, Matthew.

Matthew Ayers 0:46
Love being here. Thank you, Naviere.

Col. Naviere Walkewicz 0:48
Absolutely. Well, we're going to jump right in because your story is so unique and so personal. I'd like to take us back in time and talk about your grandfather. I know we had some time talking about him, but I think it's well worth that our listeners and our watchers get to know him a little bit more as well. Let's talk about your grandfather and maybe a particular act of courage.

Matthew Ayers 1:09
OK, yeah, he's my hero, and I always continue to this day trying to live life like my grandpa. He just was so inspirational in the way he lived, and he's a very relational servant leader. He pastored most of his life in the Pacific Northwest, but his beginnings were in Wuhan, China, where he was born and raised, and moved to the U.S. when he was 15. Got on a back of a cargo ship, and he and his brother John made their way here. He built railroad with the CCC and flipped burgers, put himself through high school, college, seminary, and he's just got an amazing life. But when I got to know my grandpa as a little boy, he was smoking cigarettes like a chimney and in the local bowling league and playing cards with his neighbors.

Col. Naviere Walkewicz 2:01
I can visualize this man. Yes. Yes.

Matthew Ayers 2:06
He was just everybody's person, and he could hang out with anyone. No one was a stranger, and he was genuinely curious about everyone he met. And so he just modeled that with such joy. I just grew up thinking I want to be like my grandpa. He's an amazing guy, And so I’ve got unlimited stories about him, about someone that really has left a mark on my life, and I was 11 years old, and we were pretty new, about a year or so into living in central Washington State. And he came to guest preach at a local church there, and when he came to visit, of course, we would always go to a local Chinese restaurant.

 

Col. Naviere Walkewicz 2:53
And did he say it wasn't as good as when he grew up, though?

Matthew Ayers 2:57
It was not nearly as good, but he still enjoyed it. He still would enjoy it wherever he went. And so he disappeared like usual, and we just knew he was back in the kitchen, probably washing dishes, hamming it up with the staff. And soon he comes back out, introducing us to staff, and we have all this free food, and he's best friends with this couple. So we were just this was like a normal experience with Grandpa, but on this particular visit, he had some pretty serious conversations after that with my parents, and he had found out that several of the staff were labor trafficked. They were new immigrants from China, and the next day, he brought me along as a little boy, we go down in our little town into a bag alley, knock on the door of a warehouse, no running water, no electricity, no amenities, dirt floor, and I see the rats running around. I'm like, "What are we doing here?” And we get to sit down with these people who are serving at this restaurant and can't speak English and do not know any way to navigate their situation. And he challenged us as a family. Well, he might have just volunteered us, but it was going to happen one way or another, that this couple ended up moving in with us, and we got to be like family with them, and had the most incredible experiences cross culturally just in our own home, and that was my first, maybe you know, shocking example of just the vulnerability of people in every community. It happens everywhere, but what was even more powerful to me about that, and what stays with me, is just how simple it really was looking back, where he just asked the question, and it seemed like such an ordinary, easy thing that that he made it out to be. And looking back, I'm like, well, that that's not easy for most people, but really, it is an ordinary thing that anyone can do.

Naviere Walkewicz 5:07
Ask a question and bring someone in, right?

Matthew Ayers 5:10
That's it.

Col. Naviere Walkewicz 3:46
I'm thinking about you as an 11-year-old, and you said it was kind of your first real glimpse of that experience. How did that shape you as you grew up? Because they were with you, right? And so, first off, did you did you learn to speak Chinese?

Matthew Ayers 5:27
No, I learned a few phrases. I should have though. I remember even the simple things like these cross-cultural miscommunications we had about ruining laundry and just doing things so differently that made us sometimes laugh and sometimes have some pretty tense moments. But it was it was all of us learning together. How do we do this? And I think one of my favorite memories was one of these people — they were they just had this incredible ability to do this unique art form of laying small colored thread, and would take months and hundreds of hours per piece of art, and just the beauty of getting to introduce into this art of her culture that was in particular from this region she was from. So we just, I mean, we had so many rich experiences like that.

Col. Naviere Walkewicz 6:29
I can imagine. So taking a leap forward, what was part of your journey that led you to the Academy? And when you went to the Air Force Academy, was your goal in mind to think about how to either participate or engage in things cross culturally, or was that just part of your upbringing and your makeup?

Matthew Ayers 6:50
Yeah, I thought you might ask me this, and I have nothing here. Honestly, I saw pictures of the Rocky Mountains. I love the beauty of Colorado. It just seemed magical to me, coming from this little town in central Washington, and I wanted to snowboard, so it came with some, you know, really good university education. It was a win-win.

Col. Naviere Walkewicz 7:13
Yes. So getting into the Academy, you know, obviously drawn by the aesthetics. What about the service in the military do you think really called you? And would you say that started, you know, with your grandfather, or was that something else you saw throughout just your childhood?

Matthew Ayers 7:29
My mom and dad modeled it well, of course. My dad found an amazing and safe place in my mom's home, where she grew up in Wenatchee, Washington, and so they really had this model of my grandpa and grandpa Paul and Lydia serving continually, and they modeled that in our home, in our community, in our neighborhood. I mean, from as young as I can remember, my dad was leading leadership camps for high school students in Washington State and doing incredible things to serve. And servant leadership, which is always kind of a part of the conversation. So it was like the water that we got to swim in.

Col. Naviere Walkewicz 8:09
It seems so when you talk about your grandpa and your parents, it feels very warm and comforting and secure. And when I think about our time at USAFA, Matthew, it was — you know while it was, you know, in this ecosystem, and yes, you know, we were growing as leaders, I would say there was chaos around us, you know? How did you navigate that with such a different kind of upbringing, and by what you saw in leadership.

Matthew Ayers 8:37
Yep. That is, I think, really insightful, and it's probably — it could be the most powerful part of my growing up, my formation in my family. Because my grandpa, when he did these hard things that were ordinary, but you naturally create friction in these situations where you're serving and helping and bringing cross cultures together and bringing people in need, including us. We needed to be educated in that situation, understanding what was happening in our own community and understanding how to serve. And you don't — there wasn't a formula for that, and we didn't have a lot of coaching or training. Grandpa just pulled us in, and so we learned through doing this kind of life together. And I think that that was the power of it: is that he did it with such joy. So you describe it as this warmth, and absolutely it was. And so having that mindset, I think, built this resilience in us to have joy no matter what the situation was, and to hold those things intentionally. You know, sometimes things are really difficult and sad and sorrowful, but to still be able to carry joy into those situations, you're really able to have that impact on somebody who may need that. So even coming to the Academy and experiencing that, especially the chaos of the first year, it felt like a little bit of a challenge. Like, how do we have joy through this?

Col. Naviere Walkewicz 10:05
Well, I think I would have loved to be in your squadron because it sounds like you would have brought some joy to us for sure. Let's talk about after the Academy. There was a particular time while you were serving, you went on to work in — I think it was 2005 — you were part of a United Nations peacekeeping mission. Can you talk about some of that experience and how it maybe shaped you? Because I think it was a really transformational moment as well in your leadership journey.

Matthew Ayers 10:33
It was. It was. I was in the acquisition career field, and so I didn't have much opportunity to go overseas, but although I really wanted to. So this was one of those few things that I could thankfully got some approval from our commander and got to apply for this mission. And in that, I had this experience of coming out of Asmara, Eritrea, and heading down to our team site, which was pretty remote near the border, just south of Eritrea, and in this very small village in a war-torn area, it was completely austere, and you basically, as military observers, you have a team site you run and you kind of manage this area that you observe with daily patrols. And so I got to be in a team site with people from Ghana and South Africa and Bangladesh, and you name it. I mean, we always had new members coming in and out from one of these 41 nations that were there. And when I arrived at the team site the first day, Adahanit was our team cleaner, and so she was hired by the local staff on our team site. And when she literally ran to me, she saw my uniform and the American flag, and she dropped to her knees and just started weeping. And she was telling me how grateful she was that an American was at her team site now, because Americans had treated her and some of her family and friends and people who were living in this village with a little more respect than they were used to, and that was my introduction to this mission, to this team site, and I just thought, “Wow, what did I step into?” Because there are obviously a lot of really interesting dynamics that I didn't necessarily expect that kind of welcome coming in.

Col. Naviere Walkewicz 12:27
We take for granted what seems so normal and usual and expected, right? And so to actually see how what we're expecting can really make a difference to somebody else is really powerful. What was some of that experience like there? Can you talk a little bit more about that mission and really why it, besides that incredible greeting, why it really spoke to you?

Matthew Ayers 12:52
What I came to learn over the next six months living in Shiraru was that, you know, we all of us on the mission we had this MOU, kind of a moral obligation that we signed. We had this oath that we gave and communicated. We had a lot of training, extensive training in country, and then when we arrived overseas, and it was so — I think coming from this side, we had these just very clear expectations, and I think also kind of some of the culture that we swim in is filled with moral obligations. Even just our values at the Academy, where we where we were trained, and but it's such a part of American culture. And so what I realized is that although all the soldiers from every nation get to sign this thing and take this oath, it's not necessarily something that was part of the conversations in families growing up, or a part of the water that they swam in. So our day-to-day life there was filled with this tension between what we agreed to do and what was actually happening on the ground, and those things were completely different. So we saw — I mean, I saw two nations get kicked out and dismissed from the mission for starting trafficking rings. I saw two members of our own team site, they ended up running the black market cash exchange for the entire nation of Ethiopia while I was on site. And some of these things I really struggled with. Tried to work with people to help them understand what we were doing is not helpful to locals, and even to the point of bringing some of these things up legally with some of the team at headquarters. But when they're dealing with international trafficking rings, some of those smaller things that were happening at our team site, they just — they didn't even have capacity to deal with. And so that's also tension was like, OK, we have to learn to deal with this on a one-on-one basis in our team site in the middle of several hours' drive away from anyone who has any authority over the space.

Col. Naviere Walkewicz 15:06
Wow! So, how did you learn from that? What did — what changed in you, or what evolved in you? How do you grow as a leader from that? Because that's really powerful when you have a mission, and then you have these competing things happening that sometimes challenge values.

Matthew Ayers 15:25
It made life so much more complicated for me. I think I went in —

 

Col. Naviere Walkewicz 15:28
Like, “If my grandpa was here, he simplified things really well.”   

Matthew Ayers 15:33
Right. Exactly. Where is this simple answer? There really wasn't. And I remember sitting in several meetings, both formal and informal, with some of the JAGs, some of the legal team there, and just trying to untangle some of these issues and understand what would be worth our time to bring up, even to the highest levels, even if we had to go to Congress. What are some of the things that we need eyeballs here and influence here so that we can change some what's going on ground? It's really negatively impacting people's lives, and some of the things that we had to wrestle with were these larger moral questions of if we do this and we potentially raise these other issues at this particular level, we can end the mission. And we're trying to keep these two nations from destroying each other. So please don't go to this level. Work with us. We're going to work with you. We're going to give you advice, but you need to deal with this one on one with these people that you're working with and serving with, and they may not be from your country and they may not be in your chain of command, but you have at least some level of influence with them. So we need you to be courageous and we need you to have these conversations on a daily basis and help us. So those, that was powerful to me because it wasn't, you know — I at first I felt disempowered and like I don't know what I could do in this position, but over time I think little by little, you know, you can you can move the ball down the field if you stay focused -and you kind of understand the situation you're working within.

Col. Naviere Walkewicz 17:11
I'm so glad you shared that because often we might think, “Well, I'm just an acquisitions officer” or “I'm just this and this is not my lane” or “This is not my role.” But I think to your point is we can all be leaders and if we stay focused and we know what we need to be doing, moving the ball down the field is still very much progress. And so thank you for sharing that. I think that was really powerful. You know, you've had so many incredible experiences. I'm curious. So, acquisitions officer, you went and did this UN mission, and somehow you ended back in the hallways of Fairchild Hall teaching cadets. Let's talk about that transition and maybe what leadership looked like after you had some of this real-world and mission experience, operational experience. How did that translate to leading cadets in the way they think, etc.

Matthew Ayers 18:03
The mission, you know, sharing knowledge, sharing wisdom, sharing the things that we know we're learning in Management 101. I mean, that's important, right?

Col. Naviere Walkewicz 18:13
Yeah.

Matthew Ayers 18:13
But what I realized in that role too is just, and I realized this going back to our time. You know, as ’99ers…

 

Col. Naviere Walkewicz 18:24
Gold will shine.

 

Matthew Ayers 18:25
…and just people who had so much influence on us. That's my always dreamed to come back. That was a dream job for me. I wanted to be back here on campus and influencing kids' lives because I think you are for the first time in your life for most of us. Then you're away from home, and you get to like have your family, your brothers, your sisters, your parents, your grandparents. You can lean on in those situations at home to help you carry that leadership. But this is the first time you get to try it out on your own. And I wanted to get to know people relationally first and build trust so that I could earn a right as little as it was to speak into anyone's life, and maybe learn from them too, because we're all coming from different backgrounds where we can learn from each other. So that environment was incredible to me because it's just so much more than sharing knowledge, right? You know you're transforming. You're part of that transformative process of a person being formed when they're standing on their own values for the first time.

Col. Naviere Walkewicz 19:34
Matthew, can you share an example of maybe when you saw that come to life with a cadet and an interaction with you? Was there a time in that that when you were facilitating or when you were an instructor that you actually saw some of those seeds be received and how it actually bloomed?

Matthew Ayers 19:52
My very first night on duty, I was officer on duty at night, and you know you do this. Everyone pitches in and has that role at some point or another when they're on faculty here, and there was a suicide, and I remember getting to interact in the moment as the news is, you know, in a grassroots way, very quickly moving through the Cadet Wing. And in the middle of the night, just walking the hallways and seeing kids, and just getting to put my hand on my shoulder and ask if they need to talk, can I pray? Can I support you? And hearing their stories and what they knew, and so life happens, right? No matter what position you're in, no matter where you are, and you get to show up for people where you don't, or you get scared. And I think some of those things, you know, being in Eritrea in the middle of night with people, and that I think you build a little more resilience there too when you're in some interesting situations. And it helps you step into somebody else's space and just be present and I — those are sacred memories for me and those opportunities just to be present. Didn't do anything really but just be there. And I think I'll cherish that always. And I just encourage us. You know, it again — these things seem like so challenging sometimes when you're in a, when the stakes are high and the emotions are high, but those are the most important times to stand in and be present.

Col. Naviere Walkewicz 21:42
I feel this tie from your grandpa to you. This ordinary act. I will tell you, the cadets that you spent time with when you were walking the halls that evening, and you put your hand on their shoulder, or you said, "Do you need to talk?” They will take that with them, and there's a good chance that when the moment calls for that from them, they're ready because they saw it in action and they felt the importance of that. Man, thank you for sharing that incredible story. I have to think that that probably played into your decision to jump into the nonprofit space and lead something incredible like you've been doing for the past 10+ years.

Matthew Ayers 22:20
If I'm honest, I was a little bit upset leaving the Air Force. I loved that job. I loved what I was doing, but of course, I did have the seed that my grandpa planted, and really, it went back to that first experience that day when he introduced us to the staff at this restaurant. And I thought, I remember making a commitment back then to say, I want to be like my grandpa, and I want to do something. I think with my life, just to interact with vulnerable people and serve them. And so that came true. I got to start some work in the nonprofit world when I got out of the Air Force, and then it led into this opportunity. And I think just casting that vision in that early season of getting out and just sharing this bigger idea of like, OK, we what does the city need? We love Colorado Springs. There's a lot of great nonprofits, and we don't want to duplicate anything. So what do we really need? And that's when I got to go on this journey of just listening to leaders all over our city and discovering what some of those things could be.

Col. Naviere Walkewicz 23:29
I love that powerful listening tour. Before we jump into that, I want to just in that piece of time in which you made that transition, I'm curious on how you knew it was time. Because I think many leaders, you know, when they're in different roles, they're looking for the when is the right time for what's next, or and who do you talk to in your corner? What was that transition, and maybe that network around you or your community around you, what did that look like in navigating that decision?

Matthew Ayers 1:57
So, Naviere, my life is like one example after another of I have plans in my mind, in my heart, and then they get redirected. And there's a proverb about that that says, you know, people make plans in their heart, and the Lord directs their steps. So this was another clear example of that, of me taking a while to learn what really should be the next step. And I remember the voluntary separation program, that VSP came open, that opportunity. And this is strange. So if anyone's been around the Academy or taught there, you know this. If you haven't, it is rare to have people just come by your office and small talk for a while, right? You're with cadets in your open office hours, or you're teaching, or you're preparing for something. So we're running. We're always running around. And 15 people, several of them — I couldn't have even told you their last name. I was just an acquaintance with them — stopped by my office in my open hours during the day, one after the other, asking the exact same thing: “Are you going to apply for this VSP?”

Col. Naviere Walkewicz 25:12
Did you make — I mean, I can't even. That's just kind of blows my mind, right? I'm just I'm putting myself in your shoes in that moment. Yes, please continue.

Matthew Ayers 25:22
Yeah. So if Anthony Pedroni is listening, he was the last one, and Tony comes in at like 7 that night in my office and asks the same exact question. We're friends. We work together in the management department. And he said, "Are you going to apply for this VSP?” I said, "No, man, I love my job. I love what I'm doing. Why would I want to leave here?” And he said, "Oh, Mr. Sensitive,” and he walked away. And when he said that, I was convicted. I had not even stopped to pray for a second. Like, is this the right thing to do? And I just knew it was, and I didn't know why. So, I, as an Enneagram 9, I try to lead with my gut instinct. That always just naturally leads first, and I just knew I needed. So I applied that night. I was one of 20 that got it. I got a call the next day, and I was out in 30 days.

Col. Naviere Walkewicz 26:11
Oh my goodness. So really, it was this group around you, and then some self-reflection and prayer, and you made that decision. There was really not a lot of talk at all, it sounds like.

Matthew Ayers 26:23
There was zero planning. So yeah, but I knew it was right, and I knew if — you know, I just think taking steps of faith, sometimes we need to be redirected. And looking back on my life now, I cannot imagine not doing this nonprofit work early. In my mind, the timing was retire first, be stable, make a good decision, get your retirement, then launch this nonprofit. But that's not that wasn't the best way forward. And so I would just say that for others too, where I had to be redirected, and it was so helpful for me. And that if you know you're holding on to a dream, sometimes it's good to be stable and make that, you know, what might look like a more traditional decision, and sometimes it's not. And to have the courage to be able to at least ask that question.

Col. Naviere Walkewicz 27:15
I love that. So you jumped, and you have now led Dream Centers. Let's talk about this a little bit because I think many people may not know what Dream Centers of Colorado Springs is and the mission.

Matthew Ayers 27:30
There's a movement across the world. There's several hundred Dream Centers, and the basic thing that ties it all together is that we share this vision that we would find a real need in a city wherever we're located that's unduplicated, and we go meet that need. So we're not the same organization as any one other of these hundreds of Dream Centers. But I got to go on that listening tour for about six months and learn as much as I could from people here before we decided what we wanted to land on. That would really be something unique and unduplicated that we could offer the city.

Col. Naviere Walkewicz 28:09
Do you feel that this is another way that you continued to put on a uniform outside of the uniform, right? So this is a new way of service. Do you think that that was part of not only it was a need that you decided this is the one we're going to do and it's unduplicated, but it actually spoke to you because of your servant leadership background?

Matthew Ayers 28:29
Maybe. I think honestly, going back to those roots, my parents, my grandpa. I mean, I think of my wrestling coach in high school and English teacher. They served so well, and they did it with joy. I think just to me, it was a more inspiring way to live, and so I didn't think about it like that, and I don't think about it like that. Although that's absolutely important and valuable, but I think as I as I experience the joy of learning from our clients right now and our staff, and just how rewarding the mission is, yeah, absolutely. It's about serving our community, but it is so joyous. It's — I get so much more out of it that it's like it really is a way of life that that is just incredible. I love getting up in the morning. I love what I get to do.

Col. Naviere Walkewicz 29:19
So you are learning from the people you serve. You just — you were just talking about the joy that it brings you. What has changed in you? And I think about it — you know, this is Long Blue Leadership. So from a leadership capacity, because you're leading a team of professionals that's making this joy possible, but curious how it's also really, like, you know, changed you?

Matthew Ayers 29:40
Man, I think I've changed every day. There's — you know, I have not had a lot of extreme or challenging situations I've dealt with in life, but I've had like a front row seat to that, and I think that I don't understand what it's like to live in a car, or to live on the street, or to experience domestic violence, or to be without food, and people are in those situations in our city every day, and they have so much to tell us about what's going on with our city, what's working, what's not. How can we improve it? How can we improve it down to the level of interactions, from phone calls and intake and how we're welcomed into a front office, to what actually is going to move the ball and make an impact in their life, and I think those are the things that we know are like adding to the quality of community, and it transfers intergenerationally in our city. So if we don't stop to learn about those things, it we're all going to be affected by that, and we're all going to be life will just not be as rewarding because it is so rewarding to be in the middle of those conversations and experiences.

Col. Naviere Walkewicz 31:17
So I'm thinking about it in parallel as leaders. To your point, are you know they have colleagues or teammates that are experiencing things that they haven't. How do you navigate those conversations? How do you actually get to a place where maybe you are driving impact or making it a difference? I'm curious if you could share some of that, maybe some for those who are looking for that leadership as well.

Matthew Ayers 31:41
We're always trying to do things with excellence. We're always tweaking what we're doing, and we're trying to just be steady and show up every day and learn what we can. And so I think when we have some big changes we need to make or a program we need to implement, first it needs to come from the people we're learning from, right? And it's not dreamed up without partnership there, and I think it needs to be confirmed by them as well. And so I mean, this again-it's the story of my life. But for several years at one of our programs at Mary's Home, the families we get to be with and serve and learn from were telling me about, you know, “The way that you're setting up this high-challenge, high-support program, and what we're able to accomplish here, and how we're surrounded with love and services and challenge. It is so good. Why aren't you doing that with our children? Why are you not offering the same thing for them?” And we — this was a theme, and I got to hear it over and over and over again. And they probably felt like they were being a broken record, but it was so important that they kept — they felt they had that important message to share. And it took me years of hearing that and then validating it with other people in the community, other people who had come through the program, our graduates, who had been years, you know, after launching for Mary's home, validating it, and I think that whole process was something where, for me, it felt like at least scales had to fall from my eyes. I had to really wake up to the reality of what this is because at first I was thinking there's other organizations that do this, and they continued just faithfully week after week, month after month, to have this conversation and say, “No, you — OK, so you don't really understand, Matthew, what we're talking about, so let's back up.” It was conversations like that. Like, “Let me tell you about my experience here with my children.” “Let me tell you about my experience over here at this service and why it's not working.” And so I think those, you know — it's being in touch with your customer. It's being in touch with your client. It's really — we have to be changed first if we're going to really offer something that's truly transformational.

Col. Naviere Walkewicz 34:03
I love how you said you can drive change and it really make an intergenerational difference. I'm curious how your work has changed the lives of your family because I know you know you're married and you have two beautiful children. What does this legacy look like in your household?

Matthew Ayers 34:22
Yeah, well I hope that I can you know at least try to live up to my grandpa's way of being. And so like when we're around work, that our kids it feels like a normal thing to do, just to be in service and to be engaged, to be in touch with what's going on in our community, and that it feels normal to come to work and have that warmth and have that encouragement and see models of people just doing normal things that we may if we don't have those models otherwise they seem maybe difficult for a little distant from us. And sometimes they're actually closer than we realize and we just keep them distant because it reminds us of just how maybe vulnerable we are sometimes, or maybe a memory like going back to our childhood that could be implicit. You know, before we're even four, and we remember it with our mind. Our body is remembering it with our emotions, and we're and so we get scared sometimes, and we don't even know why to engage with some big challenges in our city. And that's what I think. Yeah, the day-to-day stuff I want to model for Zeke and Halle Joy are just — you know, this is this is actually super rewarding, and it's one of the best things in the world you can do.

Col. Naviere Walkewicz 35:40
So, Matthew, if we can go back in time, and you could talk to your 11-year-old self, what might you tell him today?

Matthew Ayers 35:46
I think knowing what I know now and seeing what's possible, what transformation, what kinds of things, and just that we've been able to do with our partners in the city, through Dream Centers, going back to that, all that may seem really daunting and just incredibly tough to imagine or even think about as 11-year-old. But I think I would keep just want to model it for him, you know, just like my grandpa did, and make it make it easy, make it like this is — anyone can do this. Take that next faithful step, that everyone has something that they can do to show just a little bit of genuine curiosity in whoever they're with, that we always have something to learn, and if you can model that with joy, I just think it can be captured so much easier. If you model it in any other way, I don't know that it becomes something that you want to emulate.

Col. Naviere Walkewicz 36:45
I love that. And speaking of joy, I have a feeling I know where you might go with this answer, but let's see if you surprise us. You know, what is something you're doing every day to be better, either as a leader, you know, in your in your life? What are you doing every day to be better?

Matthew Ayers 37:05
I'll say it's something that I try to do every day. So even this week is a great example. Like, the last couple weeks, I've had conversations with staff where they felt courageous enough to give me feedback, and I got to listen, and I get to learn from them, and they're my greatest teachers. “So, this is how I felt in that situation, Matthew, and this is how I didn't feel seen or heard.” And let me just tell you how that impacted me, and those conversations are, you know, although I wish I could say they're far and few between, they're probably more regular. But I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful that we have a team that really trusts each other, and where we can just be honest and reflect and call each other to this higher place. And my team does that for me. So if I could do one thing, I don't always do it, but if I could do one thing really well, it'd be to keep learning from them.

Col. Naviere Walkewicz 38:03
Oh, that's fantastic. May I ask how you accept that feedback? Because, you know, being open to hearing it is one thing, but accepting it, I think, is another. Can you talk about how you do that?

Matthew Ayers 38:18
Yeah. Well, I think people are complicated, and all of us, right? We're like this incredible mishmash. You have, like, unlimited layers of variables going on an x-axis and a y-axis, and for some reason, on one day, one person will hit that one button that really affects us more deeply than another. And I see that, you know, with me, I see that with our team. And so, even one staff member will give me feedback that's in this direction, and another and receives it completely differently. So, what I think it does for me is I want to hold all those things as equally valid and say how can I sharpen what I'm doing even more so? Like that thing really landed for somebody and it really hurt somebody else. So how can I adjust? How can I learn from that so that I am presenting, I'm showing up to work my best self in a way that's able to speak to everyone. You can't always do that. You're never going to hit on the head, and that's why we need grace for everyone. We need a little patience. But I think we can always learn too, and we can always sharpen the skills. And I'm so grateful that we can, and that EQ is just one of those things that we can constantly work on. So, yeah.

Col. Naviere Walkewicz 39:36
I love that. Well, what is something that we didn't cover today that you feel is really important for our viewers and listeners to hear from you?

Matthew Ayers 039:46
You keep doing what you're doing because you're bringing a message that is really — it's not complicated at all, but there's so many layers to this leadership journey, and I think people need examples of that. We don't learn — I think what I know that whether it was just in my work here at the Academy, or the work with the nonprofit, or just growing up in Ellensburg, Washington, learn as much in the classroom, and so we have to wrestle with these ideas. That's important, and these ideas we'll hear today are really important. But we need to the community we live in, the family we're a part of, our work, and we need to apply these things. And that's where we really learn. And I don't think leadership can ever be learned just from talking about it, right?

 

Col. Naviere Walkewicz 40:43
That's right.

 

Matthew Ayers 40:43
So we have to be able to apply these ideas constantly and wrestle with them, and talk about them, and keep them front and center. So thank you for doing that. And I know we're going to keep trying to do that within Dream Centers and make it real instead of just theoretical.

Col. Naviere Walkewicz 41:00
Well, Matthew, this conversation has been really incredible in many ways. I think some of the things that really stuck with me in this conversation, one, I just really appreciated getting to know your grandpa through you. I mean, he's someone that I also hope that I can emulate in just his finding ordinary ways to make big impact. And I think you're doing that every day in your job, and that's helping to inspire others as well. I really appreciated our conversation how you really have become a student of learning leadership through the through the actions that others have gone through, right? So maybe not living them yourself, but being there in the moment, learning from them. And so I appreciated how you really talk about leadership through learning. And so I think that really came through and folds in our conversation today. And last, I want to end with this because, as I sit here and I smile at you, it's because you bring joy, and I think it's really important that we find joy in the moments, even when they're difficult. If we can continue to like hold onto that thread of joy, life is sure a lot more fun and meaningful, and we bring others along with us in that in that capacity.

Matthew Ayers 42:04
Thank you, Naviere.

Col. Naviere Walkewicz 42:05
For all of you that are watching this and listening, thank you for joining us on Long Blue Leadership. If you know someone who's on their leadership journey, they really should check out this conversation and all of our others at longblueleadership.org. Many of our graduates have different paths that they want on leadership, and just like Matthew, they have so many wonderful lessons you can pose in them. So until next time, I'm Naviere Walkowicz, Class of ’99. We'll see you on Long Blue Leadership.


KEYWORDS

Primary:
Servant leadership, leadership through learning, influence, humility, curiosity, transformation.

Secondary:
Mentorship, moral courage, resilience, trust, active listening, empathy, community, values-based leadership, feedback, purpose.

Supporting:
Emotional intelligence, authenticity, growth mindset, stewardship, compassion, vulnerability, presence, integrity, service, relational leadership.

The Long Blue Line Podcast Network is presented by the U.S. Air Force Academy Association & Foundation